Always, Yet New

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Chained off me
I treasure myself
Will I make it through
Will I survive
Make me jump
The eternities wait for me
Stone cold
I am staring at my phone
Eventually I gave up too
I don’t wanna lie
I felt inside
The shame of putting myself
The pain of disparity
The laughing of destiny
My eyes cry out loud
But don’t worry
I am happy, yes I’m
Ways to wish myself
I am walking very silently
I just wish to be invisible
And another to fly
Give a path of none
I want to walk alone
In my mind I see
It is always going to be waste
Always a betrayal on me
Always a betrayal in me
I am going to like you
I am going to hate me
But I say this goodbye
I will be diving inside
God really looking
Help me in this time
The tide I have chosen
Makes me burn inside
What will I make me
What I break for
I am certain for this
I am going to lie
I am going to live
I will be away
I will be in another life
Walking and surrender
To the miseries I see
The only love I feel
The god behind the dream
But there’s no dream left
I just know to survive
In best what I got
I will walk like this
Always a betrayal to see
Always a betrayal in me

Voice Within

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False alarming life
I have run out of stories
I weighed my heart heavier
I have seen stones stronger
I can’t get started
I can’t stop it either
The life is fading
I am falling again
I have a lie to live
I have imagined the boundaries
I walk through the seas
Shock and shine ahead
Gravity is a truth
Painfully walking through
Saying I am through
So many years
The circle of love walks in
There are still turns
I am carry home with me
Breathe again
Start again
Be nothing but a voice within
Be nothing but a voice within

So lost I seem
So proud I have been
It’ll never hurt me
It’s mine forever
I have been living lies
I carry home with me
Stone cold mountain
I have stones in my hands
My eyes have frozen
My tongue doesn’t tip
Couldn’t keep in
Can’t keep them see
I will be alive
I’ll survive
Letting go
What’s not mine shall fly away
Turning away
Slamming the door
I’ll walk away
Breathe again
Start again
Be nothing but a voice within
Be nothing but a voice within

Silence takes over
Saying what I need to say
So many moves to make
Trying harder
There are no dreams more alive
By this night be over
I’ll have a new life
The one full of truths
The one don’t deceive me
The only that’ll have abundant love
Taking on further
Imagining silvers
I rose above stars
I thank my life once again
I see my wings fly
The wings get heavy
And I get exhausted
That’s the moment to see
I am halfway there
Love is around the corner
Flying in my life
I see a peak of you
Come in to me,Arrive
Most welcomed
In the shells of time
By the night is over
There are kisses of dreams
Walking closer
Breathing again
Starting again
Be everything that a voice can be
Be everything that a voice can be

Scared of Love

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I am scared
Of the thing called love
This is so scary
This is so miserable
I am usually never right
I am Usually never scared
I take the right turns
On every other wrong
I have been complemented enough
I have taken the betrayal much
Of all the places
Love- you will never want to be
It’s scary
It makes you miserable
It will take the life out of you
It brings the hell within
The shell will surround you blue
It’s will break you into thousand
The dreams become shallow
The heart becomes a man eater
Follow you through all the pieces
So you many never make it alike
When your kindness is taken
Made it like a mistake
If I would know love would search me
Like the shattered glass I have became
I would leave this world behind
And search the real love I deserved
Wish I have been the soul
Not so sickened about the lies
I may see the better world
Not wearing a skin of lies
Maybe gaining is a momentum
And losing a sigh
Wish you had been the same
I would have least thought of hating
Now I don’t feel anything
Nor any sign
But I am very scared
Of this thing called love
It is a last place to be
It makes you miserable
I don’t know any karma
I don’t know any disgrace
I just know to wake me up
I have been pinched too hard
Just to smile at my situation
Keep laughing traitor
Thanks for leaving me alone
Thanks for laughing at me
I am thankful for the fear of love
You have given me so beautifully
I could never have gotten it by myself
I will walk away, With all my dignity
And my shattered pieces you won’t be stepping on
I will build a castle out of it
But still no place for love
No miseries to come
Just life full of kindness
And mistaken identities

Why

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Why it is never enough?
Why love isn’t the only solution?
Why I miss what I have lost?
Why do I care for not mine?
Why I wish to live it again?
Why I wish to die more than once?
Why is there silence when lips meet?
Why I have no words to pray?
Why I can’t count my blessings?
Why I can’t see my sins?
Why there is no assurance?
Why still I’m expected to be?
Why I need to be present?
Why none notice my absence?
Why I can’t hear any music?
Why I can’t dance when I want?
Why my toes aren’t numb for a reason?
Why my nights are white?
Why my days are greys?
Why I see you in dreams?
Why my world is still so empty?
Why the world seems high?
Why I still want to lie?
Why I have still faith in you?
Why still I don’t have anything to say?
Why I still want to wait for you?
Why the reasons are never wrong?
Why the solutions are always fade?
Why you are drifting away?
What I don’t see the pain?
Why I want to lose away?
Why you the only thing I care?
Why say why?
Why I say to ask?
Why I want to Erie?
When I don’t know any why?
Why begin?
Why end?
Why write?
Why not write?
Why love?
Why hate?
Why the why?
Why is there a why still?